I am a member of what feels like a million Facebook groups and follow lots of blogs. What can I say? I love reading and interacting with like minded people.

Despite the massive amount of reading that I do, it’s been a while since something really resonated and wasn’t about the joys of red lipstick or waiting impatiently for the post man to arrive. But when I read this article that was shared to a Facebook group that I’m a member of, a little light bulb went off in my head. Because I suffer with anxiety and most people don’t know this. I hide it well.

I don’t think strangers could tell by looking at me that anxiety is a huge issue for me, because I’m high-functioning. I wouldn’t say I’ve conquered it, because, well, I haven’t. I don’t think I ever will. Anxiety will always be a huge part of my life. But I have found ways to manage it, I am also adept at disguising it for times when I can’t manage it. I am quite literally an Oscar-worthy actress at times and ‘fine’ is my favourite word.

Axiety

The article that I read, talks about how a woman with anxiety really has a lot of strength, because despite feeling like she is inadequate,  she keeps going. I completely identify with that. Sometimes my worries overwhelm me, make my stomach churn and my head hurt but I keep going. I get up after tossing and turning all night and do it all again day after day.

I’ve suffered with anxiety for almost as long as I can remember to be honest. My dad has always said about me that if I didn’t have something to worry about that I’d be worried. Although anxiety is more complex than that, he has a point. I am the person continually  looking for something that to go wrong.

I won’t lie, there are lots of times when anxiety doesn’t bother me at all. Some days, I can almost forget about it and go about my daily life without interruptions. But then it creeps in slowly and I have to fight it.

Anxiexty

Some people I know who have anxiety, hide when they are feeling at their most anxious. They lock themselves away indoors and switch from the world including their children. I simply can’t do that. I won’t do that. I have two little people who depend on me for absolutely everything and I refuse to let them down. So although sometimes, getting out of bed at 5am seems like the hardest thing in the world to do, I do it. And I do so with a smile. I dance around the kitchen with my daughters because I want them to have the memories of a happy, strong mama in their minds. I have to curb my anxiety for their sake.

That’s not to say that I am impervious to my feelings of self-doubt and that familiar sensation in my gut and quickening pulse because I’m not. It often strikes when I’m on my own. The 3 miles drive between the school run and work, the hours between the kids’ bedtime and my own, the 5 minute shower I grab between breakfast for me and breakfast for them. I can’t lie, when anxiety hits me, it can often floor me. I feel helpless.

But what I never let it do is defeat me. I acknowledge it . I embrace it as part of my character along with all my other quirks (I’m writing this in my pjs but a full face of make up – it’s just what I do.) Anxiety is a part of my life and yes it does give me my strength because when some people are just deciding what to wear that day, I have sometimes had an internal battle with my worries just to get to that point.

 

Do you suffer with anxiety? How does it make you feel? 

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53 thoughts on “How Living With Anxiety Makes Me Stronger”

  1. I suffer from anxiety too, and really relate to what your day told you about if you didn’t have anything to worry about you’d be worried! When things are going well I frequently fixate on the most random “what ifs” until I’m convinced the world is going to fall apart. Great post, thank you, it’s always helpful to know I’m not the only one out there being “fine” all the time.

  2. That’s the hardest part sometimes, fixating on the ‘what ifs’ can be so damaging. Managing that is a huge part of my day.

  3. I work at a mental health clinic, and I see anxiety first hand everyday! Very scary! So glad you have embraced it and are happy! Such a brave thing to do!

  4. Thanks lovely. And wow what a job! I really commend you for that, it must be so hard.

  5. Thank you for sharing about such an intimate topic. Our society invests so much on physical well being, but our mental well being is just as, maybe even more so important. Are there any tools or practices you use to help? Thanks again.

  6. There are a few things that help me, and I plan to go into more detail in a post soon. But making a ‘worry tree’ diagram really helps. As does having a tight routine so that I have less time to worry about what could happen or go wrong.

  7. I also suffer with anxiety too! It usually has to do with my kids, especially when they aren’t feeling well. Sometimes it creeps up on me in moments that I least expect and I have to do breathing exercises.

  8. A lot of my anxiety is to do with my kids too. I really recommend breathing exercises and they really help me.

  9. I too suffer from anxiety on a daily basis. It certainly is an emotion that you just can’t help… I do feel that meditation makes me feel better.

  10. Oh my gosh, I love this post! I live with anxiety too, but I’m a single mom and there’s no burrowing in bed for me no matter how much I might want to hide away from the world. There’s still food to be made and clothes to be washed, chores to be done, babes to raise. Some days I think the only reason I get anything done is because once I’ve dragged myself out of bed to get them to school, I just look at the house and the chores, shrug my shoulders, mutter, “Why the hell not?” and get to it.

  11. Exactly!! This is my life too as I’m also a single mum. Well done you for keeping on going. x

  12. I can relate to so much of what you said in this post. As a person who also suffers from anxiety, this post has made me see a different side to the frustrations of having it. I really enjoyed this read, thank you!

  13. I love the realness of this article ! I personally don’t suffer from anxiety but I have a few friends that do and your perspective on it is awesome! I definitely love how you feel it makes you feel stronger because honestly if you were getting through it it definitely shows your strength! Keep inspiring ❤

  14. I admire people like you who speak up and serve as inspiration to many others who suffer from anxiety. I think it’s awesome that you wrote this and it’s much appreciated.

  15. I wouldn’t say that I suffer on a regular basis but there have been times that I have experienced being anxious. It’s never easy to deal with and I admire people who go through it more than I have. I think it’s great that wrote about your anxiety. It’s going to help a lot of other people who go through the same.

  16. This blog post gives me so much hope. I have debilitating anxiety that causes me to not leave the house days on end. I’m afraid to do anything and to talk to anymore. I have just started really trying to go against my anxiety and do all of these things that I havent been able to do, but I don’t know if it will work. Thank you for making me not feel so alone.

  17. Sending you so love and hugs. It really is possible to overcome this phase of anxiety and get better. Best wishes. x

  18. I agree with your point of anxiety makes you stronger. Thanks for sharing your story. It’s inspiring! I used to worry a lot too when I was younger but as I grow older I learn to control my worries better.

  19. Thanks for reading. I have to say, I have found the older I’ve found more and more techniques to keep my anxiety under control

  20. I too have anxiety and it’s so important to know my triggers so I can try my best to avoid them until I’m ready to tackle them head-on! I agree that it does make me stronger and it’s because we are dealing with things inside of us that the battle can be against ourselves. Overcoming that anxiety can be so empowering! Keep strong <3

  21. Totally agree about identifying and avoiding triggers. That is one of the biggest ways that I avoid my triggers.

  22. Very good post. Anxiety is the bane of my life. And I am also determined like you not to let it ruin my life and my little girls x

  23. Thank you. It can be so difficult and has influenced quite a few of my decisions in the past and I don’t want it to impact on my little girls.

  24. I absolutely love when bloggers open themselves and share their truth. The transparency instantly draws me in. Thank you for sharing this!

    I believe I suffer with a form of anxiety although I’ve never been diagnosed. Some of what you feel, I do as well. Prayer definitely helps above all as well as just openly talking to my husband about my feelings. Your example encourages me. Way to be an example to your girls!

  25. I love when Bloggers share parts of themselves too. Makes me enjoy their posts more. Glad you enjoyed the post and that it helped you. x

  26. I love this post! I suffer from Anxiety and I blog about it too in the hopes that it’ll help others. It’s a horrible feeling of being trapped in your mind sometimes the headaches and stomach pains I get from it are debilitating! I love that you are writing about this.

    Ellie

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