Yesterday was date night! Yes, on a week night. It felt like I was 18 again. Drinking a gin cocktail on a Tuesday evening seemed ridiculously indulgent for a full-time working mum of two. The fact I’m no longer a student meant that it was sadly only the one. But it was a special occasion. We were celebrating The Boy’s birthday and it was important to go out and make a fuss. Even at his age.
Date nights have been a revelation for me. It’s only very recently that I realised the importance of getting dressed up and going out and spending quality time with my boyfriend on date nights. Is he still my boyfriend when he’s pushing 40? Who knows, I’m digressing. Boyfriend or not – it’s still a date night.
We try to do one date night out a month and spend at least one evening a week together not doing chores. Easy enough at the moment as we don’t live together. That may change in the future and that will mean finding another routine.
In an ideal world we’d go out more often but work (and by work I mean The Boy’s work, I have mine organised…) and the tribe of children that we have between us makes scheduling difficult. But once a month works for us. I look really forward to the dates and, in typical beauty addict fashion, plan my makeup and hair a few days in advance! I’m still trying to impress him.
If you’ve ever read my blog before, you’ll know that I’m an obsessive planner. I love rules and routines. I’m like Monica. Organised fun is the best. So for me, even date night has it’s rules…
Plan A Date You Both Will Enjoy
It’s not that I didn’t go on dates in my previous relationships, I did occasionally. The trouble is they were rarely anything that represented my interests, leaving me bored and resentful that my precious spare time was being wasted. And this is why it is important to communicate when planning a date night to make sure that it is something you are both going to enjoy or at least be open to trying.
I’m pretty sure that The Boy doesn’t enjoy Disney films but appreciates my love (or borderline obsession) so took me to see Beauty and The Beast. Best. Date. Ever. And won him serious brownie points. The key is, it has to work both ways. I’m not the slightest fan of the same music as him – he has the weirdest taste for a 35 year old – but I’m planning on going to a gig with him because I know taking him will make him happy and I get to spend the whole evening with a happy boy. I can’t complain about that!
No Phones Allowed
Date night is about spending quality time with your partner, and you can’t spend quality time together if you are refreshing Instagram, online shopping of if you’re The Boy responding to a million work calls… Date night is one of the few times that I put my phone on silent and don’t respond to anything unless it’s urgent. Same for him.
Make An Effort
I am that kind of person who makes an effort to get the post but it’s an extra-special type of effort for date night. It’s an evening when I’m fully out of mummy mode and feeling like an actual adult. It’s not even that I feel I have to impress The Boy. I don’t. The poor thing has seen me ill, consumed with grief and first thing in the morning but I just feel like I want to look my best and extra special. It sends the message that the date is important to me.
Relax And Have Fun
How often do we have a chore lists for our partners? Or unload all of our moans after a long day at work? Date nights are a time to relax, connect with your partner but most of all just have fun and try new things together. Dates don’t have to be in fancy restaurants. I’ve had dates stuck on the M6 or on the train when we’ve had days out together. The most important thing was that we were spending quality time together, laughing and having fun because sometimes it’s all the we need.
Do you do date nights? How do you make them special?