Recently, I keep hearing the idea that I cannot possibly be a feminist because I am interested in ‘frivolities’ such as makeup and jewellery. Obviously this means that because I highlight and contour that I cannot possibly be interested in equality for women. Or want myself, my daughters and in fact every woman in the world to not experience discrimination – simply because of their gender just because I wear lipstick.

In fact, is it not discrimination when I’m told that because I wear red lipstick I am not a feminist? Those people have judged me on appearances alone, and whilst it is almost impossible to not judge on appearances, they shouldn’t pretend to understand my thoughts and feelings just because of the colours on my face.

Red lipstick

Of course I am a feminist, I personally believe all women are, regardless of whether they choose  to label themselves in such a way. We all want equality and the freedoms that our ancestors, even our mothers, did not have. Choice is important. I want the same choice over my lipstick, as over my reproductive organs and my career. I want to have that choice and will never stop fighting for the right to make my own choices.

I’m not the first woman ever to wear red lipstick or to understand the power of the statement it makes because it undeniably does make a statement. Red lips are a statement. To me, red lips signify strength and confidence. Red lip draw attention to the face. Red lips make you stand out. Cleopatra used crushed beetles to give her lips a rouged appearance whilst Queen Elizabeth I made red lips fashionable again in the 16th century. Whilst I’m not about to start making my face as pale as possible and bathing in milk, I’m happy to align myself with these incredibly strong women.

Red lipgloss collection

At the last count, I owned over 50 lipsticks. It’s probably a little more than that now, I just can’t stop buying makeup. I would guess that over half of them are various shades of red. But, on my non-working days it’s currently nearly always Mac Russian Red that I turn to. It makes me feel ready for the day regardless of how I feel inside. Ordinarily I wear dark clothes, black and grey usually, so the contrast of red lips stands out. It’s my way of standing out. It’s my way of saying ‘don’t mess with me because, I’m ready for whatever life throws my way.’ It’s a statement of confidence that I choose to make.

I’m told that I’m fortunate that red lips suits me. Personally I’d argue that there is a suitable colour for everybody. The colour makes make me look alive and brightens my face. It draws attention to my face and I have to smile at people as they look at me. I’m naturally introverted and shy but red lipstick helps me to make connections with other people. It’s a conversation starter. There have been many occasions that I’ve been described as the ‘woman with red lips and big hair’. It’s what makes me memorable.

Red lipgloss collection

I won’t lie, red lips are high maintenance. They have to be looked after and checked. But this also helps me to take care of myself. As long-lasting as my trusty Russian Red is, I have to check my appearance regularly to ensure it hasn’t smudged and to make sure my layer of red protective armour is still in place. Looking after myself makes me feel good. I definitely subscribe to the ‘look good, feel good approach’ because if I feel that I look my best, my insecurities fade and I can focus on other things. That philosophy works both ways.

A while ago, I was told that my penchant for bright, red lipstick was intimidating to men and that I wouldn’t find a man if I continued to wear it as casually as I wore mascara and Converse which is literally everyday. My response? I laughed. Firstly, because it’s naive to assume that I dress for the attention of men? I don’t dress to please anyone. I dress to suit me and my tasks for the day, be that teaching a class of children, running around after my own two or a night out with my friends.

Beauty Addict makeup mee

Secondly, the notion that because I am single therefore means I must be looking for a man to ‘complete and make me whole’, makes me angry. It’s utter tripe. To me there is nothing more infuriating that reducing women to their relationships with men. Women are guilty of it too. I’m tired of seeing intelligent, educated and successful women bemoaning the lack of men in their life. It’s okay to be alone. It’s okay to want a partner. It’s not okay to make a woman’s whole existence about the man or lack of man in her life.  I am a person in my own right and have no desire to defined by my relationships.  Right now, I’m happy being single and spending my time with my friends, family and on my career. One day that may change. But when I do finally decide that I want to meet for a partner, am I really going to want one who is scared of red lipstick? They aren’t going to last very long with me if they scare that easily.

I love wearing red lipstick. It changes my mood, it makes me feel more like myself and for me, I could never give up wearing it. Nor would I want to. But the whole point that I am making today is that the makeup that we choose to wear is in no way an indicator of anything other than a personal choice, whatever our reasons for wearing it. I am a feminist. I am a makeup addict but I am also a mother, daughter, teacher, friend and writer and nobody is entitled to tell me that the way I choose to describe myself is wrong. Feminism is about giving women the freedom to choose. Don’t try to take my choices from me.

Do you describe yourself as a feminist? 

Feminist

 

42 thoughts on “Why wearing red lipstick doesn’t make me less of a feminist”

  1. I am not a lipstick person at all but I like how you used this to make your point. Each oerson’s life is their own and we are all individual people with the right to choose how to live our life. Great thoughts here.

  2. The premise is ridiculous. Feminism about having the opportunity to live your life on your own terms. And if that means means wearing lipstick– red or black– it’s your choice. We’ve slowed some people to setup false narratives that feminism means you don’t become a stay at home mom, or wear a bra or have alternate sexual experiences.

  3. It’s amazing what people think being a feminist means. It all boils down to the right to choose though – the EQUAL right for a woman to choose her own path in life. Want to be a stay home mom? Good. Want to be more career driven? Good. Want bare-faced beauty? Go for it. Want red lips and high heels? Go for that too.

    Why? Because you are equal to me, and we are equal to other women regardless of the opportunities presented to us and the choices we’ve made over the years. Now if we could just get the men on bored with the equality thing …

  4. This is so right! We are all equal and feminism is about giving us the right to have our choices. Somewhere the message seems to have been lost.

  5. I love the point you’re making here. It’s so hypocritical for the “poster child feminists” to heckle other women for their choices. In doing so they’re being counter active to their cause. Good for you!

    Also loved your point about being an introvert and lipstick causing people to look at you and this bring you out of your shell.

    Keep it up

  6. Couldn’t agree more. Fighting amongst ourselves just weakens the cause. If we want equality, we need to work together.

  7. This is a fantastic read. I also liked how you connected red lipstick to feminism. Feminism is such a complicated topic that most people don’t really know what it means. Personally, I feel like “feminism” is so overused by man haters, when it should just be a word used to promote equality in the society.

  8. I sympathize with you about people looking at people and whether they are success based upon their being married or not. I agree that people should be able to be a success by themselves.

  9. I think people are getting confused as to what a feminist is. I am always hearing more stupid stuff that makes you not a feminist. Like if you wear lipstick, or care about your appearance.

  10. Yes, I think there is a lot of confusion and the negative perception of feminists that is perpetuated by the media doesn’t help.

  11. People have so many opinions about what we wear and how we wear it. It’s enough and it doesn’t make me less of a woman or a person. I think it’s good to wear the color that you want without having to explain it to people.

  12. Yeaaah! This post is awesome! I am appalled by so-called-feminists who believe that in order to be a feminist you have to look and talk and act a certain way. Feminism is about ensuring women have the freedom to be individuals, and not constrained by others’ ideas of how we should look and behave. Well…that means letting women wear red lipstick if they want to, or whatever. I think the majority of feminists have a body-image positive mindset. The people who are shaming you are probably old-school and outdated. I am sharing this post though because there are enough people with outdated mindsets out there who need to read this!

  13. Thank you so much! Feminism has moved on so much and I just wish that everyone was au fait with modern feminism.

  14. I am not a feminist and don’t wear lipstick, but I do believe in equality and the freedom of choice. The choice of lipstick doesn’t change my impression of you nor anyone. If people judge you based on your lipstick colour then I think they should look in the mirror first.

  15. I love red lipstick as it is the color of passion. I don’t really care what people say, I just wear what I want to wear that makes me feel what I wanna feel. I think that red lipstick looks good on you Nay! Life is short, seize the day!

  16. I love red lipstick but have never found the right shade, myself. I’m a strawberry blonde, and those I’ve tried seem waayyy too bright. Any suggestions on a shade that might work?

    I’ll use my Facebook account to comment so you can see my complexion 🙂

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